How not to be easily offended

By | Anger Management, Anxiety, Blog, Counselling, Depression, Marriage and Couples Relationships | No Comments

It is easy to get your panties in the twist

It is so easy to get carried away with feelings. Trying to  figure out “what exactly did they say” or “what did they mean”. Social media and the types of conversation we have online easily add another layer to this.

Often it is our  own judgement that leads us on, when it comes to taking offence to something, someone has said.

Here are some tips that you can use in your life that will help you stay calm, comprehend and avoid dramatic situations.

Tip One

If I’m taking what someone says too personally, is it what they are saying OR what they are triggering for me that needs to be dealt with?

Tip Two

Look beyond what someone may be saying or how they are behaving. There is probably a good chance they are going through some stress in their own lives. It’s not necessarily about you.

Tip Three

Suspend your judgement, and be open to possibilities. If we quickly jump to conclusions, we’ll develop assumptions instead of getting the full story.

Tip Four

When we think ‘it’s everyone else’s fault’ then we are powerless to change anything. Think about what is my part in the situation, and what or how can I change that. That’s all I can do – change how I think or feel about it.

Tip Five

Remember, we are all perfectly imperfect. If we believe people should live up to our expectations, then we will encounter disappointment. William Glasser said “I have noticed that happy people are constantly evaluating themselves and unhappy people are constantly evaluating others”.

If you’d like to book a one on one session please feel free to call us on (08) 9448 3210 

And for some daily motivation check out our INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

DECLUTTERING YOUR LIFE // TIP TUESDAY

By | Anger Management, Anxiety, Blog, Counselling | No Comments

DECLUTTERING AND BECOMING PRODUCTIVE

Clutter can build up in all sorts of shapes and forms and can lead to stress in many facets of life

So today we are sharing with you 5 questions to ask yourself when you are feeling burdened tasks and to do lists. Remember procrastination can subside the tension at a particular moment but never actually solve the issue. Ask yourself these questions and look at your environment to better enable your mind and self for better productivity and well being. Decluttering can lead to many answers…

  1. Do you TOLERATE excessive household clutter obstructing the flow of your energy or would you PREFER to get rid of any physical clutter that you no longer need by selling, giving or donating them to create space in your house which can then boost your motivation to do something you’ve been putting off?
  2. Do you TOLERATE those unfinished projects that prevent you from beginning new things which are now more relevant to your life or would you PREFER to take the time to consider if they are even worth finishing, if they have served a purpose, and are they ready to be archived, deleted or put through the shredder?
  3. Do you TOLERATE chaos or would you PREFER to de-clutter and organise your home or work environment to help you feel ordered?
  4. Do you TOLERATE that clutter can also lead to procrastination, because when everything is everywhere, we tend to find a distraction to avoid the task. Or would you PREFER being a bit more organised so that your external environment mirrors your internal mind to create a sense of calm to look at what else or how else we could be doing things in our lives that would serve a higher purpose.
  5. Do you TOLERATE needless stress in your life or would you PREFER to look at what commitments you can reduce, delegate or eliminate especially when what you are doing is to the detriment of your own wellbeing?

We share “TIP TUESDAY” every fortnight so make sure you come back,

If you’d like to book a one on one session please feel free to call us on (08) 9448 3210 

And for some daily motivation check out our INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

 

TIP TUESDAY: UNDERSTANDING ANGER

By | Anger Management | No Comments

Handling heated “anger filled” situations with #slay wit

Anger can be sparked from many circumstances so this TIP TUESDAY we are sharing some tips that help you understand the situations and resolve matters.

1. Recognise who the anger belongs to.

2. Develop some safe and healthy ways to release our anger and any other associated
feelings such as sadness, anxiety, helplessness etc. (walk, punch a punching bag, swim,
dance, talk to a friend, punch a pillow etc).

3. Recognise the first thoughts of anger. When they arrive in your ‘in box’ and how they
physically manifest, e.g. stomach, throat, clenched fists etc. STOP and breathe; practice
some of the safe and healthy ways to release the anger.

4. Learn to respond (cool head) instead of react (hot head). Give some mental breathing
space to decide if what you are about to do will be of any use.

5. If it has nothing to do with other people, then let them know that you are feeling angry, that it has nothing to do with them, give you time, and you will be ok. This gives transparency, others can acknowledge and give you space, you feel validated, the anger dissipates, and you are able to then talk about it with more clarity toward developing options.

We share “TIP TUESDAY” every fortnight so make sure you come back,

If you’d like to book a one on one session please feel free to call us on (08) 9448 3210

And for some daily motivation check out our INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

Dealing with Road Rage

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Road rage is an aggressive or angry behaviour by a driver by way of rude gestures, verbal insults, deliberately driving in an unsafe or threatening manner, or making threats.  Today, drivers have become more prone to road rage with displays of aggression becoming a common occurrence.

There seems to be more cars on the road causing congestion; more speed; less patience; more erratic driving.  Everyone seems to be in a hurry. Some feel that drivers deliberately set out to make their drive to work impossible.

We see it every day on our roads – people speeding past us, not indicating when they change lanes, doing the zigzag dance in between traffic, tailgating, speeding up to block you out, or flashing their lights from behind you to say ‘get out of my lane’ even if you are doing the speed limit.

What are some of the issues behind Road Rage?

Whether a person leaves work or home in an angry mood (can tend to project that anger out onto other people on the road) or who get angry without too much provocation may engage in quite hostile or aggressive thinking.  The result is unnecessary risks being taken on the road (as if to make a point).  They feel they have the right to judge how a person drives according to their own highway code.

We may be giving ourselves too many unrealistic deadlines.  This means we run the risk of working ‘too hard’, we become tired, stressed and overwhelmed which results in ‘burn-out’.   It is also worth mentioning the frame of mind or mood we are in when driving (especially in traffic) – maybe we have just had an argument with someone.

Unfortunately, when a driver is in this frame of mind, there is no conscious awareness of the consequences involved.  It is important to learn breathing, relaxation and self-talk approaches to prevent things getting totally out of control.

Unfortunately, there have been cases of road rage which have resulted in the death or significant physical injury of other innocent people.  Some of these injuries have resulted in permanent disability.  Victims often suffer post traumatic stress which, left unattended can be mentally and emotionally debilitating.  When the perpetrator of road rage is sitting in a jail for a long period of time, or paying a hefty fine, was it really worth it?  If you had your partner, children or friends in the car at the time, was it really worth it?  When you were confronted by the Police, charged and put into a police vehicle, was it really worth it?

For some people, this road rage can stem from a need for control or possession of their ‘lane’.  For other people, it can indicate deeper issues around anger and aggression.  Drive like a ‘ticking time bomb’ or just pay attention to what you are doing?  Your choice.

Some tips to help you enjoy your drive…

  • Practice relaxation or calming techniques that you can use without interfering with your driving
  • Do not take it too personally – imagine that the other driver has just received some traumatic news and is on their way to the hospital
  • Do not look at the other person or use any gestures that could just inflame the situation even further
  • Keep a safe distance between you and the other person, or take a detour
  • Give yourself sufficient time to get to your destination
  • Understand what the actual triggers are that may make you feel really angry
  •  Learn positive ways to reduce your stress levels
  • Practice courteous driving – it can make you feel better to get a smile or thank you hand gesture

Remember…

It is really important to get to the bottom of where this ‘rage’ is coming from.  What unmet needs are emerging?  What or who are we blaming?  What am I not taking responsibility for?  What is the current state of my physical and emotional health?

Remember, road rage is never worth it, and it can be very dangerous.

There are much better alternatives to road rage.