How not to be easily offended

By | Anger Management, Anxiety, Blog, Counselling, Depression, Marriage and Couples Relationships | No Comments

It is easy to get your panties in the twist

It is so easy to get carried away with feelings. Trying to  figure out “what exactly did they say” or “what did they mean”. Social media and the types of conversation we have online easily add another layer to this.

Often it is our  own judgement that leads us on, when it comes to taking offence to something, someone has said.

Here are some tips that you can use in your life that will help you stay calm, comprehend and avoid dramatic situations.

Tip One

If I’m taking what someone says too personally, is it what they are saying OR what they are triggering for me that needs to be dealt with?

Tip Two

Look beyond what someone may be saying or how they are behaving. There is probably a good chance they are going through some stress in their own lives. It’s not necessarily about you.

Tip Three

Suspend your judgement, and be open to possibilities. If we quickly jump to conclusions, we’ll develop assumptions instead of getting the full story.

Tip Four

When we think ‘it’s everyone else’s fault’ then we are powerless to change anything. Think about what is my part in the situation, and what or how can I change that. That’s all I can do – change how I think or feel about it.

Tip Five

Remember, we are all perfectly imperfect. If we believe people should live up to our expectations, then we will encounter disappointment. William Glasser said “I have noticed that happy people are constantly evaluating themselves and unhappy people are constantly evaluating others”.

If you’d like to book a one on one session please feel free to call us on (08) 9448 3210 

And for some daily motivation check out our INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

DECLUTTERING YOUR LIFE // TIP TUESDAY

By | Anger Management, Anxiety, Blog, Counselling | No Comments

DECLUTTERING AND BECOMING PRODUCTIVE

Clutter can build up in all sorts of shapes and forms and can lead to stress in many facets of life

So today we are sharing with you 5 questions to ask yourself when you are feeling burdened tasks and to do lists. Remember procrastination can subside the tension at a particular moment but never actually solve the issue. Ask yourself these questions and look at your environment to better enable your mind and self for better productivity and well being. Decluttering can lead to many answers…

  1. Do you TOLERATE excessive household clutter obstructing the flow of your energy or would you PREFER to get rid of any physical clutter that you no longer need by selling, giving or donating them to create space in your house which can then boost your motivation to do something you’ve been putting off?
  2. Do you TOLERATE those unfinished projects that prevent you from beginning new things which are now more relevant to your life or would you PREFER to take the time to consider if they are even worth finishing, if they have served a purpose, and are they ready to be archived, deleted or put through the shredder?
  3. Do you TOLERATE chaos or would you PREFER to de-clutter and organise your home or work environment to help you feel ordered?
  4. Do you TOLERATE that clutter can also lead to procrastination, because when everything is everywhere, we tend to find a distraction to avoid the task. Or would you PREFER being a bit more organised so that your external environment mirrors your internal mind to create a sense of calm to look at what else or how else we could be doing things in our lives that would serve a higher purpose.
  5. Do you TOLERATE needless stress in your life or would you PREFER to look at what commitments you can reduce, delegate or eliminate especially when what you are doing is to the detriment of your own wellbeing?

We share “TIP TUESDAY” every fortnight so make sure you come back,

If you’d like to book a one on one session please feel free to call us on (08) 9448 3210 

And for some daily motivation check out our INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

INSTAGRAM @metrocounsellor

 

Understanding Anxiety

By | Anxiety | No Comments

Anxiety is considered to be a common reaction to stress. When anxiety becomes excessive, we can feel as if our situation is helpless and hopeless.  The body prepares to deal with a perceived threat by preparing the physical body to produce symptoms including heart palpitations, tension, fatigue, shortness of breath, headaches, nausea, the fight or flight response.  These somatic sensations are not harmful although they are extremely uncomfortable.

The person may experience emotional sensations such as a sense of dread, apprehension, trouble concentrating and panic, and usually comes without warning.  Although the fear is generally irrational, the perception of danger is very real.  The characteristics of being anxious, highly strung, nervous and emotional can occur in families who are described as having a heightened (biological) response to stress. These characteristics can increase if you have extremely high expectations of yourself (perfection), are highly sensitive to criticism, have many “shoulds” about how things should be, and have a strong need to feel in control.

Low levels of anxiety can become a response to the everyday ups and downs of life. Debilitating levels of anxiety tend to respond to ‘perceived’ stress.  The mind and body then react by exaggerating the normal bodily reactions to stress from a brain and central nervous system that is hypersensitive. What follows then is that people are so distracted by the unpleasant emotions that they do not think straight.  They make “emotional” decisions based on desperation, a sense of urgency and their fear of the uncomfortable feelings instead of accessing their rational or logical thought processes.

Fight or Flight?

We have often heard the words “fight or flight.” What does this mean, and how is it connected to anxiety?   The fight or flight response is an involuntary, instinctive reaction to what we perceive as a real threat.  It takes us back to the days of the cave man where they come face to face with a large bear.  Your muscles tense up, heart beats faster, breathing becomes shallow as our body experiences the rush of adrenalin.  Back then it was a much needed response when faced with physical danger on a daily basis.  The person would decide if they could fight the danger, or run as your life depended on it (flight).

Unfortunately, when a person experiences anxiety in today’s society, your mind still experiences these physiological responses when there is a perception of threat even though the threat is emotionally based, it feels like you are being confronted by a dangerous beast.

The more exposure we have to the fight or flight response, the more exhausted you feel physically and emotionally.  People who received help with their anxious thoughts and feelings learn to challenge their thoughts and replace them with more positive and helpful ones, and to understand and observe their feelings until they pass.  Using the analogy of a looming storm (to describe the anxiety symptoms), the storm will have a beginning, middle, and end.  The more you can learn to understand and master more helpful responses, the better you will become at recognising this process, that is, to be able to ride the storm out.

A particular event or situation can activate the fight/flight response, and depending on our reaction to the event, it becomes ‘learned’ and is stored in our memory for when we face the same situation later. For example, if you become anxious or afraid when you are in a shopping centre, and this in turn activates your fight or flight response, the next time you are at that shopping centre (and even if you are feeling okay) that response can become reactivated and can cause panic attacks. By learning to understand what the causes or triggers of your anxiety are, the more opportunity you have of overcoming it.  Becoming aware that what you are experiencing is a learned response (triggered by something from the past) will help you overcome panic attacks or anxiety.

Beyond Anxiety

It is important to identify the negative thoughts and feelings we have learned which in turn affect how we behave and what actions we take.